This used to be ‘the many miaows of misha’ but I added a silent – but effective – move she has taken to repeating and changed the title accordingly.
Miaow – I am being cute and helpless so that you are inspired to cuddle, tickle and stroke me until I get bored and wander off.
Ya-ow, ya-ow – I have discovered that if I make this noise 35 minutes before I want you up, you’re more likely to get up.
Maa-how, Maa-how – How are you still in bed? It’s 7.01 already! (or, depending on her mood, 6.01, 5.31 or 5.01).
Mau, Mau – You’ve been deficient in your cat butlering. Change my water/bedding/dry food.
Maaaaaou – If you don’t follow me into the kitchen and pretend to move my food around a little, I’ll stand here Maaaaaouing until I die of starvation.
Niu.. niu (usually with the head poking out of the cat flap and the body swaying, ready to jump) gonna get ya little birdie.. gonna get ya little birdie. (She never does).
Prraaow – This is my chair/stool/staircase/sofa and I’ll defend it to the death! (only used between 1am and 4.05am).
Yowwwll – I can keep this up all day. I WILL keep this up all day unless you pick me up, let me sit on your lap and interfere with your meeting (reserved for Zoom and Teams meetings, the second most noisy miaow).
MrrOWWWl.. MrrOWWWl… – I’m bored. You were asleep (the most noisy miaow).
Yeeii-ow – I’m not happy. You’re my human, Work out why and fix it. Ni-ow.
Mau, Mau, Mau – Hello you miaowsome cat butler! I’m going to rub myself on your calves and trip you up for the next 2-3 hours to show you how much I like you.
Mewl, Mewl – Where have you been? I’m happy to see you but I’ve done something that’ll make you regret going out.
Miiii-aow Miiii-aow (relentlessly)– I am telling you, human, that I need that food on your plate. Not going to stop till you give me your food. Or until I’m bored. Oh.. what a pretty sunbeam! (jumps).
Prriaow….. ? Prriaow…? – We are going to to play the game where you follow me round the house trying to work out what I want, and every time you try to pick me up I move away.
Miiawmiaw, miiawmiaw – Help me! I don’t feel well/Am scared/Have smelled another cat/Don’t like the human visitors. You have claws for concern.
(Silent stalk with extra-heavy feet on stomach at OMG in the morning) – Unwell? Look at me pretending to be understanding so you drag yourself out of bed and give me food anyway!
Grrouww – simultaneous accompaniment to an attack with claws out.
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