Farting, aircon, science and cats

White plate with black and white image of cat from the back, showing its anus. Apparently called 'the third eye'. I wish I had bought more of these plates, years ago when I found it. Too late now. So it goes.
Cropped image of Albert Dobout’s cat, apparently called ‘the third eye’ My plate, obvs not my design

 

I borrowed my neighbour’s air purifier because of a scary smell of mould in my bedroom. Finding the correct instructions online took a while, but I eventually worked out how to turn it to auto mode, which is supposed to catche anything over 0.3 microns. It actually seems to work!

I know this because the machine turns itself on whenever Misha-the-cat farts. In the interests of science, I’d like to test it on human farts next. I’ve farted accidentally in all sorts of  embarrassing places; in lifts, at an interview, on an important first date.. even during a medical check-up.

Farting to order seems impossible for me, so I’m thinking of finding someone who can. Ladculture tropes have it that farting at will is no problem for many. Presumably the skill – once learned – can’t be forgotten.

Vonnegut said “We are put on earth to fart around. Don’t let anyone tell you any different”, but I never imagined that the ability to fart might be the reason I invite a man into my bedroom.

Meanwhile, Misha the cat and Philips have together proven that cat fart particles are larger than 0.3 microns. Unfortunately, the mould spores – and smell they cause – are not.

So it goes.

White plate with black and white image of cat from the back, showing its anus. Apparently called 'the third eye'. I wish I had bought more of these plates, years ago when I found it. Too late now. So it goes.

 

 

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No apologies- I’m trying to post a funny a day this month as part of the process of learning how to write funny. I reserve the right to be appallingly clichéd, downright dull or basically boring in these posts, and may change, delete, forget or replace them at any time.
 

Comments

2 responses to “Farting, aircon, science and cats”

  1. Ella Mesma Avatar

    You are so brilliant 🤩

  2. Karen Avatar
    Karen

    What fun!?

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