I borrowed my neighbour’s air purifier because of a scary smell of mould in my bedroom. Finding the correct instructions online took a while, but I eventually worked out how to turn it to auto mode, which is supposed to catche anything over 0.3 microns. It actually seems to work!
I know this because the machine turns itself on whenever Misha-the-cat farts. In the interests of science, I’d like to test it on human farts next. I’ve farted accidentally in all sorts of embarrassing places; in lifts, at an interview, on an important first date.. even during a medical check-up.
Farting to order seems impossible for me, so I’m thinking of finding someone who can. Ladculture tropes have it that farting at will is no problem for many. Presumably the skill – once learned – can’t be forgotten.
Vonnegut said “We are put on earth to fart around. Don’t let anyone tell you any different”, but I never imagined that the ability to fart might be the reason I invite a man into my bedroom.
Meanwhile, Misha the cat and Philips have together proven that cat fart particles are larger than 0.3 microns. Unfortunately, the mould spores – and smell they cause – are not.
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